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Reader's Therapy: Using Literature to Cope with Grief

 



    As human beings we often find ourselves struggling to make sense of our world.  This becomes even more evident when faced with real life and death situations.  The human body is incredibly tuned to handle a variety of situations.  We have all heard tales of people doing harrowing things in the face of danger.  On the news it isn’t uncommon to hear during an interview “the adrenaline kicked in and I didn’t stop to think, I just jumped in and helped.”  The human body is incredible at finding wellsprings of strength and determination in emergencies but what happens when the adrenaline fades away?  What happens when we aren’t faced with a life or death emergency but simply loss, grief, or sadness? 

For most people dealing with stressful life situations and emotions can be overwhelming; those moments after the dust has settled and we are left with just our thoughts or worse, unanswered questions.  As amazing as the human body is there is no autopilot function for dealing with profound loss or grief.  Everyone has or will experience this at some point in their lives.  It is one of the things that bind us in our shared experience.  Dealing with emotions and stress can be as varied as the people experiencing it.  I found that for me, and many other people, reading is an amazing way to help cope with difficult situations.  There is a lot of research showing the impact of reading not only on the brain but on our emotional states and even personalities.  Reading can even trick our brains into thinking we are experiencing something that we are reading about.  This is a phenomenon almost exclusive to reading fiction.

   

  "Artistic literature is an indirect communication method. Unlike advertising, scientific writing, or propaganda, artistic literature offers cues and “invite[s] readers to draw their own inferences” (p. 502). By engaging the reader in drawing inferences about what characters in their stories are feeling, artistic literature is very much like a conversation. It’s through talking to others that we learn to understand how and why people feel the way they do; literature operates on the same principles."  

                                                                             -  Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D

                                                                             

           So if reading can impact our brains so much then can it help us through life’s ups and downs?  I believe it can and there are a lot of other people who believe this as well.  Reading Stephen King novels helped me heal after the loss of my father.  Reading has a lot of benefits psychologically but there are some interesting ways it can help you with grief in particular.  In an article on Bustle, author Julie Buxbaum recounts a similar experience.  She even informs us that reading to cope with trauma is a recognized and named phenomenon.


“It turns out there’s a name for reading as a tool to survive during times of grief and loss: bibliotherapy. At the School of Life in London, you can have an actual bibliotherapist write you a book prescription for whatever ails you.”

                                                                                       -Julie Buxbaum,  Bustle

 

    I read through a lot of articles revolving around grief, and how reading affects our emotions.  I came across a lot of ways that reading can help with grief.  These are a few that stood out to me as they deal with some of the most common problems you face when losing a loved one. 

 


Time

    Time heals all wounds is a phrase we hear often, unfortunately for a grieving person time seems to be at a standstill.  Reading helps combat this in a few ways.  Getting into a good book can sometimes feel like a time warp.  Sitting down and reading a few pages can turn into a marathon very quickly when we are interested in the story.  This can help put some time between you and the loss that occurred.  Reading can also provide a distraction.  Reading is not a passive activity for the brain.  As noted earlier our brain is engaged with what we are reading in a deep way.  Being able to give your mind a reprieve from what is stressing you can let you recharge and often times give you clarity when those thoughts return.  Reading is probably the closest thing we have to being able to transport our mind somewhere else, even if temporarily. 


Sleep

    Another side effect associated with grief, and most other stresses, is insomnia.  Stress and insomnia go hand in hand for most people; the cruel twist being that while you can’t sleep you are most likely dwelling on what is stressing you.  Reading has a lot of ways to help with this as well.   It has been documented that reading can help reduce the time it takes you to fall asleep. These studies focus on traditional print however and make a distinction for reading on tablets or e-readers.  For restless sleepers it is recommended to actually get up out of bed and read. While it seems counter intuitive it can actually help you fall asleep faster than lying in bed awake. It is also recommended to try this with books you have already read and enjoyed.  The lack of anticipating the unknown can help your brain from becoming too active to fall back to sleep.


Isolation

The most difficult part of grief is feeling alone.  Loss can make you feel isolated even with a strong support group of family and friends.  Reading can help negate the feeling of isolation.  Reading can help us empathize.  For our brain, reading about experiences is almost like living them ourselves.  In an article from Psychology Today scientists have noted how deeply our brains react to what we have read:


“The changes caused by reading a novel were registered in the left temporal cortex, an area of the brain associated with receptivity for language, as well as the primary sensorimotor region of the brain. Neurons of this region have been associated with tricking the mind into thinking it is doing something it is not, a phenomenon known as grounded or embodied cognition.”   

                                                               -Christopher Bergland,  Psychology Today

    

    Grounded or embodied cognition is an incredibly powerful occurrence.  Our brains respond to what we read as if we are experiencing it firsthand, complete with the brain chemistry, endorphins, and quickened pulse that may accompany them.  While reading about characters experiencing the same emotions as you may seem like throwing fuel on the fire, it can actually be soothing to connect with a character.  The feeling of isolation is hard to maintain when you are reading about someone experiencing the same thing as you.  For me personally I made this connection while reading Pet Semetary of all things.  While I read a lot while grieving, just for the escape, this was one book that connected with my experience.  While my loss hurt, so did the main character’s loss.  It also helped to put things in perspective as well.  As I read further, the protagonist of the book proceeded to desecrate every aspect of his life in an effort to bring his son back from the dead.  In the end he lost everything including his mind.   Even though this was probably the gloomiest and most depressing book I have ever read I had connected with this character in a deep way.  We shared a major life event and the emotions that went with it.  I also had the benefit of perspective.  As his story grew darker and more desperate I found myself becoming more grateful for all that I still had. 

    



Reading has a profound impact on our lives and benefits that can sometimes be hard to see.  At some point we all go through hard times but there is hope.  The next time you are feeling down try reaching for a good book to lean on.


Comments

  1. Hello! This blog post was so well-written, and incredibly important. I personally connected with this topic, as I have always used reading as an "escape" since I was in elementary school myself. This blog post further built on that, illuminating just how beneficial reading can be for someone coping with grief. This is something that can be applied to both the educator and the student. We should always encourage a love for reading in our students, because they are dealing with these complex and difficult emotions just as much as adults, especially right now as we approach the one year mark of COVID in the US. I am inspired to make readings available for any child dealing with grief, loneliness, insomnia, and more. Thank you for sharing and expanding on this very important topic!
    -Shawna Z

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  2. Hi!
    I really enjoyed reading your blog and everything that you included. I didn't realize it at the time, but my way of coping with something is always to read and it lead me to read over 20 books over the summer after a rough breakup. I think it's really important for our students to learn that reading can be for pleasure, knowledge, research, and to help cope. Just like how you said that while reading Pet Cemetery, you were able to relate to the character's loss, our students would be able to relate to the characters in the books we choose. Which is also why it's so important for English teachers to choose books that are easily relatable, while still teaching students. Lastly, I found it really interesting that people recommend that you get up and read if you are unable to fall asleep, rather than lie in bed awake. Grabbing the book on my nightstand usually isn't my go-to when I can't fall asleep, but maybe now I'll keep a well loved book on it.

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  3. I never really though using books to help with loss before. Reading does produce a lot of benefits associated with and I never thought to connect the two of them together. When I was sad or upset I never read a book. I just dealt with it by ignoring it and hoping that it would go away. Reading does really provide us with an escape from reality.

    A few people have already said it but I think it is important to teach the students that reading can be fun, and used for other things. I do not really like to read because I was forced to do it do much in school. I think if I was taught that reading can be beneficial and a stress reducer I may have enjoyed it and taken it a bit more serious. Maybe if we teach reading as a coping strategy students will learn to read for fun and enjoyment.

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  4. Hi Bob,
    Thank you for sharing your story with this post. I can relate to getting lost in a book, and having just a couple pages turn into a marathon. As you said, reading not only connects us with others and the world around us, but also can help re-connect some things inside of ourselves and aid the healing process. I had no idea there was such a thing as a "bibliotherapist", that was so interesting!
    Most of my favorite experiences in school had to do with reading - there was something so interesting to me about reading the same book and then getting to discuss each person's connections. It broadened my experience without ever leaving the classroom and helped me learn more about my classmates and myself. Books are a powerful tool for opening up discussions and hearing different stories and views. Your post illuminated for me what is really going on in our brains when we are invested in a book - I agree with Stephanie that sharing these types of benefits about reading could help engage even more students to see reading not just as something they have to do, but something that will help them throughout their lives.

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  5. This was a very powerful blog post, so well written. The structure you chose to follow was engaging in the way it introduced readers to the topic and continued to not only give information but provide perspective. I think just like music- books can be a great tool to grieve and connect with. There are books written about everything, just like music. The variety and different styles is what brings people in. I think it is interesting how reading is thought of as an independent activity- we most often do it alone. When one is grieving as you said, the feeling of being alone can be so taunting. The voice in a book or song both can be comforting. We become invested in a story, lyrics, characters, and more. Thank you for sharing your story and the way this topic connects to you.

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  6. Hi!

    This post was so interesting to read and it comes across through your writing how important this topic is to you personally. I like how you really took the time to explain the theory behind using reading to cope while also being able to make connections with your personal stories. I'm not an avid reader so I never really thought about using reading in this way but I know so many people who use literature as an outlet, it provides the perfect opportunity to temporarily escape from your own thoughts. Thank you for writing this and for reminding me of how important literature is when it comes to coping, for people of all ages.
    -Grace

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  7. I really enjoyed reading this post! I related to so much of the content that you were talking about throughout this post. I have experienced a significant amount of loss and difficulty coping throughout the years. I had a troubling childhood especially during my high school years and reading was always the best escape for me. I fell in love with literature in high school because of the stories I read and how I could connect with the characters. Reading helped me to escape my own reality for a little and to jump into someone else's life or the stories I read helped to reconfirm my feelings and anxiety that I often experienced. Reading and literature helps us to learn about the people around us and to offer new perspectives on a variety of things. Additionally, reading can help all of us cope and tackle some of life's biggest challenges. This is one of the major reasons why I always wanted to be an English teacher because I strongly believe in the importance of literature and especially its ability to aid in coping.

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  8. I certainly emphasize with characters while reading. I especially remember this occurring while reading the Harry Potter books. I found myself experiencing all the same emotions as Harry. I am always amazed by how completely emerged I can become in a good book. While I have not used reading to cope with grief, I can certainly see how it would be beneficial.

    Last year I was a long-term substitute middle school music teacher from February until the end of the school year. I went through the transition from school as usual to 100% virtual learning. After the switch, I decided to change my curriculum to focus on how music can help us express and cope with our emotions. I see a lot of parallels between my work with music and your study of literature.

    I believe all art has immense healing potential. Creating any type of art is an incredible outlet for self-expression, and consuming art connects us with the artists and others enjoying the work. I hope more people can find comfort in art during this especially stressful time of our lives.

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  9. Hi!
    I completely agree with you that literature definitely helps with dealing with grief, there is a certain calmness with reading a very good book and or poem that provides the reading with a sense of solace. A good book can help the reader escape some of their everyday life problems and provide them with a sense of peace. I personally always encourage my students to read when they feel like they are stressed out because it allows your mind to take a break from what is causing anxiety. During this tough time, I feel it is especially important to not take reading for granted because it can assist in tough times like what we are all experiencing now during this pandemic.

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  10. This blog post definitely gave me a new perspective. I have always looked at reading as a way to learn new things, or to entertain myself. You did a really nice job explaining how reading can be used as a tool to help cope with grief. While this strategy is certainly beneficial for adults, I can also see students reading to cope as well. With this being said, I think it is important for teachers to encourage students to read when they are feeling overwhelmed, sad, frustrated, or any other big emotion. This will teach students that reading isn’t just something we practice to become better readers, but it is something that supports our emotional well being. If students are able to see reading as a tool that is useful to them, they may feel more inclined to pick up a book.

    -Colleen K.

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  11. Hi!
    What an amazing post. Literature can be viewed through so many different lenses, and the idea of using it to cope with grief is so meaningful. I love the idea that through reading, our minds can actually trick us into thinking we are truly experiencing what we are reading about. I see literature as an escape from the real world, which is another reason why I loved this post so much. I like how you broke down the parts of grief and provided explanations for how literature can connect to each one. I truly enjoyed how you connected it to sleep and how reading a book that we already know about can allow us to get that sleep due to the fact that we are secure with the outcome. Overall, this was beautifully written. Great work!
    Ali Lombard

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  12. Hi Bob,
    I was very interested in this topic as I do not think others thought of storytelling in this way. I totally agree that reading to help us get through tough times, or bibliotherapy, is a necessary survival skill. Sometimes reading fiction, like you said can be therapeutic and put our minds at ease from escaping the situation or event that caused us (emotional) harm. I liked how you shared your experience while reading Pet Sematary. I also liked how you said that reading can make us feel less alone even if we are. I know when I am going through a tough time, I like to surround myself with people I care about and talk about what I am feeling, but sometimes people have plans so having a good book is a great alternative. Thank you for sharing this post!
    ~Chaisen

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